Recently, my 16-year-old son asked my wife and me if he could go out for a ride in a car with his friends.

Penny, my wife, didn’t skip a beat. “No,” she said. “It’s too dangerous.” Then she turned to me. “What do you think?” she asked.

“Oh, no,” I thought; I was on the spot, and it was clearly a no-win situation for Dad. While I could understand my son’s desire to ride with his buddies, I also shared my wife’s desire to keep him from harm. “So, which way do I go,” I wondered, “with my wife or my son?”

I didn’t really answer Penny’s question until the next day, when I read an article in USA Today that presented some sobering facts and statistics about teen driving, together with new research on adolescent brain development. In short, Penny was right.

Here is a sampling of the facts I read.

Within their first year behind the wheel, 1 in 5 16-year-olds crash their cars.

Most people associate reckless driving, drag racing, alcohol use and other dangerous behavior with teen accidents. But statistics show that 77% of fatal crashes involving 16-year-olds involve driver error -- in other words, a simple failure to respond properly to a routine danger that a mature adult driver would handle safely.

Teen drivers are three times as likely as drivers 20 or older to be involved in fatal crashes between 9 pm and 6 am. On average, 2 people die every day in the US in vehicles driven by 16-year-olds.

And here’s the one that really hit home for me, because it speaks so directly to my son’s safety. A teen’s risk of dying in a car accident nearly doubles the minute a teenage boy gets into the car with him.

Here’s the conclusion I draw from these facts: parents must take responsibility for their 16-year-olds who may be legally ready to drive, but are not ready in other ways.

That’s also where new research about the human brain comes in. Scientists used to believe that children’s brain development occurred at an early age. But now, the National Institutes of Health has found that the part of the brain that controls risk-perception and the ability to plan and control impulses doesn’t fully mature until the age of 25. That’s a fact that explains a lot about teens and risky behavior of all kinds. It also explains how otherwise responsible 16-year-olds, who have experience behind the wheel and know the rules of the road, are still far more prone to crash their cars than even their 18-year-old friends.

So, if our teenagers’ brains aren’t physically ready to recognize risk and to respond with good judgment, it’s first and foremost up to parents to help them make decisions where risk is involved. And driving a car is one place where the risk is undeniable.

What can parents do? First, the experts say, don’t rely on police to enforce the rules. For your teen’s protection, insist on seat belt use. Forbid drinking and driving. Limit night driving. And say “no” to driving with friends. Anything from idle chit-chat or eating french fries, to tuning the radio or switching DVDs, to smoking a cigarette or talking on a cell phone is too much distraction for a 16-year-old.

Don’t rely totally on driver ed courses to teach safe driving, either. Do your part to reinforce those lessons. The most persuasive teacher is you, and the example you set.

I’m an airline pilot, and airline pilots have a rule we call the “Sterile Cockpit Rule.” It says that until the plane reaches 10,000 feet in altitude, there will be no non-essential conversation in the cockpit, and no visitors will be allowed in the cockpit that haven’t been thoroughly briefed beforehand.

If limiting distractions and limiting cockpit passengers is good for pilots with fully-matured brains that are equipped to make fast judgments, then the same sort of rules should go for young drivers on the road.

It took my wife Penny about 3 seconds to tell my son that riding around with friends was off-limits. I didn't see how right she was till I read the facts. I’m glad I did. I’d be interested in knowing what you think.